


A Traumatic Amputation

by MissAdoration



Series: Love Through the Pain [2]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Alderaan, Amputation, Angst, Drama, F/M, Hurt Natasha Romanov, Hurt/Comfort, Natasha-centric, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-13
Updated: 2016-01-15
Packaged: 2018-05-13 18:57:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 5,799
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5713441
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MissAdoration/pseuds/MissAdoration
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In order to save her life. Natasha undergoes an emergency/traumatic amputation of her left hand.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Here is part 2 of "Love Through the Pain". No need to read part one, but you might as well. Small warning for sensitive content.

It was a bright and sunny day on Alderaan. Natasha was by herself for a few minutes while Steve was in the local jewelry store, buying something that was unknown to her. Both of them were alert, listening for someone to yell that a raid was happening. Han and Leia had debriefed them on what to do if a raid was called

"Run for cover. You don't want to be caught in the street," she remembered Han telling them before.

All of sudden, Natasha heard the call. She immediately began to run toward the jewelry store, but was met by a big, burly dude who immediately grabbed her by the arm and started dragging her behind him.

"Someone, help me!" Natasha screamed.

"Come on, girl!" the man shouted.

Steve was just finishing things up at the jewelry store when he heard the commotion. With his shield in hand, he began to fight the oncoming attackers. Eventually, all were defeated and the people of Alderaan began to clean up. Steve wondered where Natasha was. He last saw her before he went into the store and told her to meet him at the garden. Along the way to Princess Leia's garden, he asked if anyone had seen her, describing what she looked like.

"Sorry, Sir. We haven't," a civilian replied.

Steve continued to walk to the garden, asking other civilians about Natasha's whereabouts. "Where could she be?" he asked himself. Upon reaching the garden, Han and Leia were there in the private sanctum speaking to Officer Kennedy, who stopped by the sanctum to make sure everyone was OK.

"A civilian told me that she was met by a big, burly guy who immediately grabbed her and took her away," Kennedy explained.

"It can't be Natasha. Is it?" Steve asked walking in the conversation.

"The civilian said that he didn't know her name, but he did say that the girl was wearing a brown jacket, brown knee-high boots, and had shoulder-length red hair."

"That's her, Natasha Romanoff!" Steve exclaimed. "Where is she?"

"I'm not sure yet, Steve, but I'll find her."

"Thank you, sir."

Officer Kennedy then left the sanctum. Meanwhile, Han, Leia, and Steve had dinner together, discussing the events of the raid and the possibilities of Natasha's whereabouts. Steve also revealed that tonight, he was planning to propose to Natasha.

"I really care about her," Steve said putting the ring box back in his pocket.

"You mean love?" Leia asked.

"Not quite. I do love her, but I'm just not ready to say it yet."

Leia and Han nodded that they understood and they resumed eating.


	2. Chapter 2

Natasha was sold to an Alderaan factory owner for $5,000. She was then taken to the factory, stripped of her jacket and boots, leaving her wearing only her tank top, dark jeans, and going barefoot. Her hair was also tightly braided to prevent her hair from getting caught in the machine. The owner also placed a tattoo on her left shoulder, indicating she belonged to the factory.

"What's your name, girl?" the owner asked harshly.

"Natalie Rushman," Natasha replied.

"Very well, Miss Rushman, write your name on that piece of paper over there. If you can't write, make an "X,' he said. Natasha then neatly wrote, "Natalie Rushman" on the paper.

"Now, get to work!" he half shouted. He then led her to a table where a needle was moving rapidly up and down across a long cloth. Next to her sat another girl, possibly younger than Natasha. Her name was Elizabeth Simmons. She was sold by her stepfather to the owner 2 years ago. She was showing Natasha what do when all of sudden, her finger was caught in the machine.

"No! Please no! Stop!" she shouted.

Natasha was nearly pushed to the floor by the owner when he came to their table. He then broke the needle, causing Elizabeth's finger to be amputated.

"Get her out of here!" he shouted to his assistant who rushed over with a skimpy ice pack. Elizabeth was then escorted out, still screaming in pain. "We've got an opening here!" He shouted to the girls standing in line, waiting for a job.

As she was being led out past the line of girls, she saw Natasha stand up and face the owner.

"How can you not care about her? She just lost a finger and you just kick her out!"

"Well, Miss Rushman, since you care about her so much, why don't you just join her!" the owner shouted as he forcefully took her left hand and shoved it into the machine, causing her to lose her finger as well.

"No! Please stop! Let go of me!" she shouted as her hand began to become covered in blood.

"Take her too!" he shouted. Natasha and Elizabeth, both with bloody hands and skimpy ice packs, were escorted out of the factory and taken to the hospital.

At the hospital. Elizabeth and Natasha were given a better ice pack for their hands.

"No, save Natalie first!" Elizabeth gasped. She then breathed her last. Meanwhile, Natasha was then rushed into the operating room where Dr. Gale Anderson immediately placed a special casing around her blood-covered hand. He knew that he had a limited amount of time since the amputation to place the casing on her before it was too late. She was then placed in the room that was located in the trauma center to recover. He was eventually planning to place a mechanical finger on her hand before releasing her.


	3. Chapter 3

Officer Kennedy couldn't believe what he heard. The assistant who escorted the girls to the hospital had turned himself in and told him everything that had happened. After the young man left, he immediately called Steve, who had returned to SHIELD headquarters in Washington DC earlier in the day.

"Steve, there was a girl who was found at the factory. Her name was Natalie Rushman. Does that sound familiar to Natasha?"

"It does. Where is she?" Steve asked anxiously

"She's in the hospital, however she can't have any visitors. I'll bring her to you when she's released. "

"Ok. Thank you, Kennedy," Steve said. He then hung up.

The next day, Officer Kennedy arrived at SHIELD with Natasha, who already had the mechanical finger on her hand, however Steve couldn't tell because it looked like her real finger. He still didn't know what had happened to her at the factory. He also hardly recognized her since her hair was tightly braided up and she was just wearing her tank top and dark jeans. He was also surprised to see that despite the events, she still had her necklace that he bought her on their last visit. He greeted her at the door with open arms.

"You're safe. I feared the worst."

"It was horrible, Steve. I saw a young girl lose her finger to one of the machines," Natasha cried.

"It's ok, Natasha. I'm sorry about your friend, but I'm glad you're alive."

"Me too, Steve. Me too."

Kennedy then left headquarters to return to Alderaan. Meanwhile, Steve and Natasha joined Agent Phil Coulson and the rest of the team for a light dinner. Natasha remained fairly quiet during the meal for she was still in a small state of shock after the events. After dinner, everyone tried to get some sleep.

That night, Natasha lay restless in her bed. She could still hear the screams of herself and Elizabeth when they lost their fingers. However she was too scared to tell Steve the truth about what had happened to her. Eventually, she fell asleep.


	4. Chapter 4

(Two days later)

Natasha waited impatiently for Steve to come back. He was out on a solo mission and she desperately wanted to talk to him. Agent Barton came to the door to check on her.

"Thank you, Clint, but I just can't tell you. Not yet at least. I'm sorry."

"It's ok, Natasha. I understand, and don't worry, he'll be back soon. Can I at least sit and wait with you?" Clint asked.

"Sure."

Clint sat down next to Natasha on the bench by the door and the two of them waited for Steve to return. He was a bit in shock as he waited with her. His partner and friend was worried about something, but he didn't know what. He slowly put his hand on her shoulder. To his surprise, she didn't move away. Instead, she moved closer to him and he embraced her. Clint could feel her body shake as he held her. He didn't bother to ask what was wrong because he knew she wouldn't tell him.

A few minutes later, they both heard the roar of Steve's motorcycle. The second that he came into view, Natasha immediately got up and went outside to meet Steve. Clint watched nervously as Natasha, who was still shaking a tiny bit, walked out to Steve. He then went back to resume what he was doing.

Steve's look changed when he saw Natasha came to him. Her face was slightly red from a few tears.

"Natasha, are you ok?" he asked turning off the motor on his bike.

"Steve, we need to talk, but not here," Natasha said with tears.

"Ok. Hop on; I know where we can go." Natasha got on the back of Steve's motorcycle and they drove away from the headquarters.

Steve took her to a local park close to SHIELD and sat down on a bench. Natasha, with tears in her eyes, began to tell Steve what actually happened to her on that traumatic day.

"Steve, remember how I told you that there was a young girl who lost her finger to one of the machines at the factory?"

"Yes, I remember," Steve said holding her hand.

"Well, there were actually two people that lost a finger. One was her, and the other was…was…"

"Nat?"

"It was me!" Natasha cried bursting into more tears. Steve embraced her and held her tightly as she continued to shed her tears.

"Natasha, why didn't you tell me?" He asked her a few seconds later.

"It hurt me too much to say. I had nightmares while I was in the trauma center of the hospital as well as these past two nights. I just couldn't get myself to tell you!" she sobbed.

"I didn't even know where you were."

"I used an alias of Natalie Rushman, even when I was at the hospital."

"I see," Steve said continuing to hold her.

"Dr. Anderson gave me a mechanical finger. It's like a real finger, but not exactly."

"Can you fight with it" Steve asked as Natasha slowly left his arms. He then continued to hold her right hand.

"I don't know yet."

"What about the other girl? What happened to her?"

"She didn't make it. She told the emergency staff to save me before she bled out," Natasha explained as her tears slowly stopped.

"I'm so sorry."

Steve waited until she was finished shedding tears before he spoke up again.

"So, what's going to happen now?"

"I just don't know right now, but I can't return to SHIELD. I'm still scared," Natasha responded as she put her head down.

"It's ok. We can stay at my apartment until you are ready," Steve said.

"Ok."

Steve and Natasha returned to SHIELD, packed their belongings, and left for Steve's apartment where they would remain until Natasha was ready to return. Agent Coulson understood and said that whenever they were ready, they could return.

Later that evening, after Steve and Natasha were eating a special dinner that Steve had made. He then got the box with the ring out and got one knee to propose to Natasha.

"I was going to do this that day you were taken," he took a couple deep breaths and opened the box. "Natasha Alianovna Romanoff, will you marry me?" Natasha was in shock. The ring was absolutely beautiful.

"Steven Grant Rogers, I would love to marry you!" she said fighting tears. She then sat down with him on the floor and he placed the ring on her left hand. The two of them kissed and then embraced.


	5. Chapter 5

After two weeks of rest and recovery and Steve learning about Natasha's mechanical finger, the two of them returned to SHIELD. Natasha was a little nervous as she held her signature pistols. Her left hand was shaking a bit as her and Steve stood ready to face their enemies. Seconds later, a battle broke out. Steve used his shield and knocked out enemy after enemy. Natasha was doing great with a right hand, but when she shot with her left hand, the force of the blow caused her to fall to the ground. Her target also fell down, dead. Steve, seeing Natasha on her hands and knees quickly rushed to her aide.

"Barton, cover me!" he shouted as he got down the ground next to her. Barton continued shooting while Steve helped Natasha stand up and get her to her quarters. Inside her room, he asked what happened.

"Steve, I can't do it anymore. My hand can't…" Natasha faded out.

"Natasha? Natasha!" Steve spoke louder, shaking her awake. A few seconds later, she awoke.

"What happened?" Natasha asked.

"You were telling me about your hand and then you faded out. Are you ok?" Steve asked.

"I think so," Natasha responded.

Steve then embraced her. Meanwhile, Coulson, Hill, and Barton finished fighting the enemies.

Two more weeks had passed by at SHIELD. Natasha would fade out every couple of days. Dr. Anderson was on a week's vacation and unreachable. Natasha said she would talk to him at her upcoming appointment next week. Steve agreed and the two of them continued their duties at SHIELD with Natasha not using her left hand to fight.

The night before the appointment, while Steve and Natasha were having dinner with the rest of the team, Natasha faded out again. Steve had briefly left the room, leaving Barton to try and wake her.

"Maria, find Steve," he said as he tried to shake Natasha awake.

By the time Steve got back, Natasha was already awake and sitting in a chair with a glass of water.

"What happened?" Steve asked sitting down next to Natasha.

"She faded out again," Clint replied.

"That's the second one today," Steve said worriedly.

"What time is her appointment tomorrow?"

"Early afternoon. We'll be leaving in the morning," Steve explained.

"Ok. Hopefully Dr. Anderson can figure something out."

"I hope so too, Clint," Steve said. He then walked with Natasha to her quarters.

That night, Natasha faded out again. Steve was able to shake her awake after two minutes. He then called Dr. Anderson.

"That's not good, Steve. It could mean that her body isn't responding to the mechanical finger like I'd hoped she would. Have her come to the emergency department tomorrow. Tell them to get a stretcher for her and ask for me."

"Ok, Dr. Have a good night," Steve then hung up and fell asleep, holding Natasha in his arms.


	6. Chapter 6

The next morning, Steve and Natasha left for Alderaan. Along the way, Natasha faded out in the transport train. She awoke two minutes later. Steve was getting nervous. The fadeouts were happening more frequently in the last 24 hours, however Natasha didn't seem to be affected by them.

The emergency staff had a stretcher brought to the hospital lobby for Natasha. Steve lifted her onto it and held her hand as they walked to a room.

"It's going to be OK," Steve said comforting Natasha who was shedding a few tears. "I'm right here."

Natasha nodded as tears slowly fell down her face.

Once in the room, the nurse hooked Natasha up to an IV line. She also introduced herself as Kathleen, Dr. Anderson's personal assistant and head nurse.

"I'll let him know you are here," she then left the room.

Dr. Anderson was by the nurses' station when he heard Steve call for help. He knew immediately that it was Natasha. Inside her room, he saw Steve trying to shake her awake.

"Watch out, Steve."

With Steve continuing to help, Dr. Anderson was finally able to wake her after three minutes. He then began to check Natasha's hand with a special camera that allowed him to see the inside. A few seconds later, his look changed.

"Steve, I need you to leave the room. I'll come get you as soon as I'm done and I'll explain everything."

"Is everything ok?" Steve asked getting up.

"Not exactly."

"Steve. Please!" Natasha cried grabbing his hand and shedding a few tears.

"Natasha, it's going to be ok. I'll be back in a few minutes," Steve said kissing her cheek. A slight smile appeared on Natasha's face. She then watched him leave the room.

"Dr. what's happening to me?" Natasha asked desperately with tears.

"Natasha, it's going to be OK. I need you to lay back and relax." He then eased her shaking body back down on the bed and gave her a heavy sedative to make her fall into a deep sleep. He then motioned to Kathleen to come closer to the bed. "We need to do an emergency amputation, and fast. Get me a case and knife."

"Right away, Gale," Kathleen said. She then rushed out of the room to get the supplies.

After checking to make sure the new case was clean, which it was, He slowly began to cut off Natasha's left hand. His partner, Scott Urban, who came in with Kathleen to help him, took the hand away while Dr. Anderson worked quickly to put the new case over Natasha's arm.

"What happened?" Scott asked as the three of them cleaned up.

Dr. Anderson explained to Scott that Natasha's body didn't respond to the mechanical finger and that the case that was on her was infected. He also explained that because of this, bacteria started to attack her hand.

"In order to save her, I had to do this."

Scott nodded and left the room. With the amputated hand in a case. He was to burn it in the hospital furnace. Before he burned the case, he removed the ring from the hand and put it in a bag. He was going to clean it and then give it back to Dr. Anderson to return to Steve.

Once things were all cleaned up and Natasha was situated, Dr. Anderson took his camera with the image of Natasha's hand and went to talk to Steve, who was in the waiting room.


	7. Chapter 7

Steve waited impatiently for Dr. Anderson to come out. Coulson had called, wondering how things were.

"I don't know, Sir. Dr. Anderson had me leave the room. It's been almost an hour." Just then, Dr. Anderson came out.

"Steve, can you follow me to my office?"

Steve hung up from Coulson and followed Dr. Anderson to his office, still with a worried look on his face. Once inside, Dr. Anderson slowly began to explain to Steve what he had to do.

"Steve, Natasha didn't respond to the mechanical hand like I had hoped she would. Also, the casing that was around her hand in the beginning was infected, causing bacteria to grow and attack the hand and finger. That's what was causing the fadeouts." He said showing Steve the image of Natasha's infected hand. "I'm sorry to have to tell you this, but in order for me to save Natasha's ENTIRE arm from being infected. I had to do an emergency amputation."

"Oh my gosh!" Steve exclaimed. "What's going to happen now?"

"I've already ordered a prosthetic hand to be delivered right away. I'm not going to chance a mechanical hand. I am afraid that she will never be able to use her left hand in combat again."

Steve put his head down and began to shed a few tears. His fiancé would never be able to hold a gun in her left hand ever again.

"Did you save her ring?" Steve asked a few seconds later.

"I did. My partner, Scott, is having is sanitized, just to be safe," Dr. Anderson explained.

Steve nodded and continued to shed more tears as Dr. Anderson turned off the camera.

"When you are ready, I can take you to her room."

"Take me now. I want to be there when she wakes up," Steve said as his tears started to let up.

"Ok, but call me the second she moves a muscle and don't tell her anything. Yet."

Steve nodded and followed Dr. Anderson to Natasha's room down the hall in the trauma center.

After taking a deep breath, Steve walked in. What he saw made his heart stop and caused him to shed more tears. Natasha lay in bed with a big metal case around her left hand. Her arm was placed on her stomach and her right hand was free. Steve swallowed his grief, sat down, took Natasha's right hand and cried. What he then said made Dr. Anderson's heart stop. "I love you, Natasha," He said with tears in his eyes.

"You finally said it," Dr. Anderson said putting a hand on Steve's shoulder.

"She deserves it now," Steve responded with tears.

Dr. Anderson then made sure that everything was going ok and then quietly left the room.

Coulson called again, but Steve ignored it. He couldn't even attempt to try and explain everything to Coulson. Not now at least. All he wanted to do right now was sit by Natasha's side and hold the only hand she had left while sobbing more tears. His and Natasha's lives would definitely change after they left the hospital.

Steve was interrupted a half hour later by Dr. Anderson when he came in again to make sure everything was ok with Natasha, which is was. The sedative was to wear off in about an hour or so. He then left and also gave Steve a small box, which contained Natasha's engagement ring. Steve looked at and then carefully placed on her right hand so that she could at least wear it. He then continued to wait for her to wake up.

Steve quietly fell asleep while waiting for Natasha to wake up. He awoke when he felt a hand on his shoulder and someone calling his name.


	8. Chapter 8

Natasha awoke and blinked a few times. Her vision was a little blurry, but she could still sense that was something was wrong. The last thing she remembered was Steve telling her that he would be back in a few minutes. She then began to call for him.

"Steve. Steve, where are you? You said you'd come back. Steve?" She then looked over on her right and saw a figure whom she was guesses was Steve. She slowly lifted her right hand and placed it on his shoulder. Steve then opened his eyes and noticed the hand that was touching his shoulder. It was Natasha's.

"Natasha?"

"Steve, what happened? I can't feel my arm!" Natasha cried.

"It's ok. I'm going to get Dr. Anderson," he said quickly getting up.

"Don't leave me!" Natasha cried.

Steve stuck his head out the door and motioned to Kathleen. "She's awake."

"Ok. I'll get Dr. Anderson for you." Kathleen then left the nurses' station to get D. Anderson, who was in his office.

Dr. Anderson was typing on his computer when Kathleen came in.

"She's awake," Kathleen said sticking her head in the door.

"Romanoff?"

"Yes."

Dr. Anderson quickly got up and rushed to Natasha's room. Inside, he noticed Steve trying desperately to keep Natasha calm.

"Let me in, Steve." Steve quickly took a few steps back to allow Dr. Anderson to take over.

"Natasha, it's going to be ok. I need you to relax.," he said to Natasha, who was covered in sweat.

"I can't move my arm!"

"I know. It's going to be stiff for a few days. But it's going to be ok."

Natasha eventually settled down. Dr. Anderson did another check to make sure she was ok and then wiped the sweat off her face. He then gave Steve more instructions outside the room.

"The prosthetic hand is on its way and Natasha is responding well. For now, we can't tell her what happened."

"When will we able to?" Steve asked looking back at Natasha, who was sleeping.

"Soon. I don't want to overwhelm her. I wan to see if she calms down a little more."

"What should I do if she asks?" Steve asked.

"Just tell her that a critical surgery had to take place in order to save her life," Dr. Anderson replied.

"Ok. I'll call if she gets anxious."

"Good idea."

Steve then went back inside the room to sit next to Natasha and hold her hand.


	9. Chapter 9

The next day, Natasha was given the prosthetic hand. Dr. Anderson gave her a light sedative so that she wouldn't know what happened. Steve remained in the room ad Dr. Anderson and Scott worked together to remove the case from Natasha's arm and place the hand on her. About fifteen minutes later, everything was done. Scott took the case to be thoroughly cleaned and Dr. Anderson spoke to Steve outside the room again.

"Placement was successful and things are going very well. Her anxiety level is good, so if she asks later today, you can tell her. Also, if you don't mind, I would like to be the room when you tell her. I want to see how she reacts to the news."

"Ok. I'll ask for you after her and I have our dinner."

Dr. Anderson nodded and left the room. Steve then called Coulson with an update.

"Thanks, Cap. Sorry about the circumstance, though."

"Thank you, Sir."

"Does she know yet?

"Not yet, I'm going to tell her tonight after dinner."

"Ok. Good luck. We look forward to having you two back at SHIELD." He then hung up.

After both of them had dinner and Dr. Anderson was called into the room, it was finally time to tell Natasha what really happened to her yesterday when Steve left the room. Taking her right hand in his, Steve slowly began to explain to Natasha what happened to her left hand.

"Natasha, this is really hard for me to say, but it's time that you found out what happened to you yesterday at your appointment." He took a breath and looked at Natasha, who was quietly listening. "Dr. Anderson had me leave the room because he had to perform an emergency surgery. Natasha, that emergency surgery was the amputation of your left hand."

"What?" Natasha gasped.

"Natasha, your hand was being infected by bacteria. In order for me to save your whole arm and your life, I had to quickly amputate your left hand at the wrist," Dr. Anderson spoke.

"No!" Natasha exclaimed. "It can't be."

"I'm afraid it's true, Nat," Steve responded, still holding he hand.

"Tears began to roll down Natasha's face as she looked at her left hand.

"So this isn't my actual hand?" she asked looking at Dr. Anderson.

"No, it's a prosthetic one. I didn't want to chance a mechanical hand on you," Dr. Anderson responded.

Tears continued to stream down Natasha's face. Dr. Anderson, who observed that everything was ok, quietly left the room, leaving Steve to comfort Natasha. Eventually, she calmed down and fell back asleep.


	10. Chapter 10

 The following day, Natasha was released to go back to SHILED. She was given a prescription for a special insulin to prevent bacteria from growing.

After things were completed, Steve wheeled her to the front of the hospital where Dr. Anderson awaited with his car to take them to the transport train. Steve helped Natasha in the car and then they left the hospital. After saying " good-bye" to Dr. Anderson, the two of them boarded the train, hand in hand. Natasha still wore her engagement ring on her right hand to show that she was still engaged to Steve, despite not having a real left hand to wear it on.

Coulson and the team welcomed them back with a small dinner. Natasha still remained fairly quiet throughout most of the meal, so Steve did most of the talking. While talking to Agent Barton, he noticed that Natasha had left the room.

"She must've gone to bed," Clint replied when Steve asked where she was.

Steve left the dining hall and walked to Natasha's room. Inside, he found her sitting on her bed, holding her prosthetic hand in her right. She looked the same way back when they were cleaning themselves up at Sam Wilson's house. So, like before, he slowly approached her and sat down. Natasha looked up and saw Steve sitting in front of her.

"You Ok?" Steve asked.

"Hold me," Natasha said quietly. Steve carefully embraced Natasha in his arms as she began to shed a few tears.

"Talk to me. What's going on?" Steve asked as he held her.

"Steve, I just can't do it anymore. I won't be able to fight like I used to. I want to retire as an Agent of SHIELD," Natasha said sobbing.

"Ok. I understand," Steve said as she slowly left his arms.

"I just can't stand to continue this anymore," Natasha said putting her head down.

"Natasha, it's ok. If you want to retire, then you can. I will always love you," Steve said. Natasha then looked up and into Steve's eyes. "You said it, Steve. You finally said that you loved me."

"After I saw you in the hospital with the case around you, I realized that it was time for me to start saying it to you. Even though you are different now, I want you to know that I will always love you," Steve said taking her hands.

"I love you too, Steven," Natasha said with tears in her eyes.

After one more hug, Steve left the room to go to his quarters across the hall to try and get some sleep. Before he drifted off to sleep, he thought to himself. "Maybe I should retire as well so that I can be with Natasha more often." His thoughts were interrupted when he heard a scream from across the hall.

"Natasha," he said quickly getting up and running across the hall.


	11. Chapter 11

Natasha lay in her bed, unable to sleep. She could hear the voices at the factory.

"Well, Miss Rushman, since you care about her so much. Why don't you join her!" the owner shouted, grabbing her hand and forcing it into the machine.

"No! Please stop! Let go of me!" Natasha shouted. Shen woke up.

"Steve!" Natasha screamed.

Steve rushed into the room. Natasha was sitting up in bed, sweaty and breathing heavily.

"Natasha, it's ok. It was just a dream," Steve said, sitting on her bed and taking her into his arms.

"It felt so real. Like I was there again," Natasha sobbed.

Steve continued to hold Natasha in his arms as her breathing slowed down and tears streaming down her face. Agent Barton came in the room, asking if everything was ok.  
"She just had a nightmare, Clint. I got her." Clint nodded and then left the room to go  back to bed.

A few minutes later, Natasha finally calmed down. Steve wiped her face and began to speak to her softly. "Nat, I thought about what you said earlier tonight, I think I'm going to retire as well so that I can be with you and take care of you."

"Thank you, Steve, but you don't have to," Natasha said.

"Nat, it's OK. I want to."

Natasha nodded. Steve then gave her a kiss on the cheek and went back to his room.

Early the next morning, Natasha and Steve went to Agent Coulson's office.

"Good morning Cap. Agent Romanoff," Coulson said quietly.

"Good morning, Sir," Steve said as he and Natasha sat down.

"We would like to talk you," Natasha added.

"Ok. What's on your mind, guys?" Coulson responded. Natasha spoke first.

"Sir, with everything that has happened to me these past few weeks, I am now no long able to use my left hand in combat. I would like to retire as an Agent of SHIELD," Natasha said.

"Me as well, Sir. I want to be able to take care of her," Steve added, taking Natasha's hand.

"Very well. You two have done a great job with us. I wish you both the best of luck."

"Thank you, Sir," Steve said. Everyone then stood up and shook hands.

"Before you go, will you please stay for a small party?" Coulson asked as Steve and Natasha were leaving the office.

"Of course," Natasha responded.


	12. Chapter 12

Later that afternoon, Coulson and the team had managed to put together a small going away party for Steve and Natasha. Natasha still remained fairly quiet as she sat there with Steve. She would always have a sense of fear after what she had went through. A few minutes later, she explained everything that had happened. She talked about how her and her friend, Elizabeth Simmons, had both lost a finger to the machines, and how an emergency amputation had to take place in order to save her life. Everyone listened intently as Natasha shared each part and Steve coming in when she would start to choke up. Maria then stood up and gave Natasha a hug,

"I'm so sorry, Natasha."

"Thank you, Maria," Natasha responded.

Clint then followed, and kissed Natasha on the check. "Me as well, Natasha. I will miss doing missions with you."

"Thanks, Clint. I'll miss it too," Natasha said, smiling slightly.

"Good luck, Steve," Maria said, giving Steve hand shake. Clint did as well.

"Thanks, guys," Steve responded.

After saying one final "good-bye" Steve and Natasha packed up their belongings and headed for Steve's apartment. They would still have contact with SHIELD as well as their friends on Alderaan. For now, they would lean to go about their daily lives, dealing with an amputated hand and recovering from the emotional stress that came with it. Steve was there for Natasha when she needed him. He comforted her whenever she had a nightmare or just needed to talk. Each and every day. Her insulin was injected to keep the bacteria from growing. She also visited Dr. Anderson every month or so to make sure things were going ok.

After a light dinner at one of the local restaurants, Steve took Natasha to back to park where she revealed to him about her finger. There, he and Natasha shared a wonderful night under the stars. He also promised her that he would always be there for her."

"I care, Natasha. And I love you," Steve said taking her into his arms.

"And so do I. I love you too."

The two of them embraced and shared a kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Follow me on twitter (@AdorationAmy) and check me out on [tumblr](http://adorationamy.tumblr.com) to ask questions and see what I am up to. 
> 
> The story continues in Part 3, 'Russia".


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